When was the last time you felt good about yourself?

Asking yourself this question never feels 100% good. Thinking back to it, before this week, I honestly can’t even remember when I felt good about myself. I think it was right back mid-May last year when I was at my peak, having lost 10kg and feeling healthier. But even then, although I was in the best shape I had been in for a while physically, my mental state was a mess.

 

For me, it’s hard to answer this question because society constantly pushes me to ‘feel’ a certain way, and unless I feel that way, I feel incomplete – and I don’t feel good about myself.

 

Since working from home because of COVID-19, I’ve used the opportunity to really have a think about this. The last time I felt good about myself, is today.

 

Being forced to work from home has given me only 45 minutes at each side of my working day. Yet, for some reason, I have achieved more in this 45-minute allotment in a week than I have my entire working life.

 

Each morning, the routine has been the same: the same wake up time for me and for my son, the same breakfast and breaky routine. And instead of travelling 45 minutes in my car to drop Wilder to day-care and head to work, I’ve been using that time to walk him to day-care and then head off afterwards on my own walk around the river here where I live.

 

Then, I’ve showered alone.

 

It feels AMAZING. Like, why didn’t I do this before I was forced to work from home? Working from home has allowed me to get up from my desk and go grab a coffee or some snacks. To look at what I’m eating so that I don’t eat us out of house and home.

 

And the shift in my mental health has just been incredible. Yes, my day is still incredibly stressful because of COVID-19, like everyone else’s days are also stressful. I’m not even considered frontline staff and I am feeling the pressure. But my headspace to deal with said pressure is a million times better.

 

I’m not writing this blog to brag about how I can work from home, or to guilt you into doing something about your wellbeing. I’m writing this because we should all be able to answer the question: ‘when was the last time you felt good about yourself?’. And the answer should always be today!

 

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll be aware that Australia will need to go into lockdown at some point. Rather than being worried about how you’re going to pay the bills (which my job is just as at risk as everyone else’s), why aren’t people worried about their WELLBEING??

 

Why is it, that as a society, we have adapted to putting money before our own wellbeing? Instead of worrying about how we’re going to pay the bills, I implore you to worry more about your mental wellbeing.

 

This doesn’t mean you should drop everything and go for a walk right now. This isn’t about physical exercise, although it’s a part of it.

 

I would like to put forward a challenge to each person reading this blog. Make the most out of this insane, crazy time.

 

You can always make money – in fact, after COVID-19 has left our shores there will be jobs and opportunities.

 

But you can never, ever, change how you felt during this time. Once this has been and gone, your wellbeing during this time is not something you’ll ever be able to change.

 

SIEZE THE DAY my friends. Here’s how to start.

 

ONE

 

Make a list of all the things that make you, you. A list of things that make you feel good about yourself. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’m sharing my list:

 

• Time by myself
• Oddly, wearing clothes that make me feel good about myself (I have done more of this in the last two weeks than I have in my life, and I’ve been wearing them on the daily, and it’s made me feel so good about myself!)
• Physical exercise – by myself
• Reading a book
• Showering by myself
• Cuddling my son
• SEX!
• Talking to my husband about things that aren’t COVID-19 related (like sharing our memories of the past)
• Going on day trips and exploring nature
• Making fresh pasta
• Cooking amazing new dinners that I’ve never done before
• Being kid free with my hubby for a period of time (it doesn’t matter how long)
• Being clean
• Not drinking alcohol (I slept horribly last night and I attribute this to having a ‘Whisky Ginger Grizzly’ at the hotel we’re staying at currently. Read: straight whisky, no mixer)
• Getting creative (because of COVID-19 and stress of the unknown lately I have not felt creative, so I haven’t done anything. I miss this part of my soul)
• Cutting off from social media
• Reading a book
• Checking in with my friends
• Doing something for someone where I get no benefit: for example, helping out Bib n Brace with their marketing, this has been fun for my mind and soul
• Spending time with my family (not talking about COVID-19)

 

TWO

 

Once you’ve made your list (and you can steal things from mine to try out if you don’t know where to start, especially if it’s been a long time since you felt like yourself), sit down with your partner and get them to make their own list.

 

Mike isn’t here with me right now but I reckon I could predict his list. It would look a little something like this:

 

• Beer
• Looking at/touching tits
• Sex
• Hunting
• Fishing
• Spending time with me and Wilder
• Recording/doing music
• Anything that doesn’t involve the words ‘concrete’ or ‘concreter’, ‘slab’, ‘concrete pour’, ‘sore back’, ‘sore hips’ and ‘work’

 

THREE

 

Here’s where shit gets real. Compare your lists. SHARE what makes you, you with your partner. Doing this exercise probably seems really silly, but I guarantee you – when Australia goes into lockdown and nobody is working, you’re going to thank me. Work makes up like 80% of our lives and I feel like the vast majority of Australia won’t even have an identity when we inevitably lose our jobs.

 

Talk about the things you like doing that can still be done while we’re in lockdown. Talk about how it makes you feel when you’ve completed that activity.

 

FOUR

 

Now take a pen and make two columns next to your lists. Name one of them ‘Before’ and the other one ‘After’.

 

Think about each item. How much of your time do you currently spend doing each activity? Put this in your ‘Before’ column. See mine below:

 

Activity	Before	After
Time by myself	Hardly at all
wearing clothes that make me feel good about myself	About 30% of the time
Physical exercise	Hardly at all
Reading a book	Hardly at all
Showering by myself	Maybe once a week
Cuddling my son	Morning and night
SEX	Not as often as I’d like
Talking to my husband about things that aren’t COVID-19 related	Way too little
Going on day trips and exploring nature	Maybe every third weekend?
Making fresh pasta	Once every two months
Cooking amazing new dinners that I’ve never done before	Once every three months?
Being kid free with my hubby for a period of time	Once every three months
Being clean	Every day
Not drinking alcohol	Longest I’ve gone is about 2 weeks recently
Getting creative	On weekends every 3rd week
Cutting off from social media	Never
Reading a book	Once a month
Checking in with my friends	Almost never
Doing something for someone where I get no benefit	Once a week
Spending time with my family	Every day

 

When you and your partner complete your lists, talk to each other and be honest about your answers. Are your voices filled with regret? Do you disagree about each other’s answers? Take it in turns to discuss one thing on your list each.

 

FIVE

 

In the ‘After’ column, start painting a picture of what your ideal answers would be. When I say ideal I am also talking realistic. This part needs to be done with your partner. If you don’t have a partner, and your kids are older, you could be doing this exercise with them. If your kids aren’t old enough to understand, then do it by yourself but whatever you do, be honest.

 

Here’s an example: if I was going to answer ‘showering by myself’, I know that it’s not realistic for me to skip out on showering with my son sometimes. Sometimes, it’s just easier. If I’m honest though, I could squeeze in a shower by myself after my walk from day-care. Therefore, if I’m making time for myself every day is actually quite realistic – even if it means showering both morning and night.

 

If you can honestly answer that you wouldn’t change anything about the current frequency of the activity in your before column, put ‘no change’.

 

Here’s mine:

 

Activity	Before	After
Time by myself	Hardly at all	At least an hour a day, preferably two
wearing clothes that make me feel good about myself	About 30% of the time	100% of the time
Physical exercise	Hardly at all	At least an hour a day
Reading a book	Hardly at all	One per week
Showering by myself	Maybe once a week	Every day
Cuddling my son	As often as I can	No change!
SEX	Not as often as I’d like	More often than not
Talking to my husband about things that aren’t COVID-19 related	Way too little	80% of the time
Going on day trips and exploring nature	Maybe every third weekend?	Every weekend, both days of the weekend
Making fresh pasta	Once every two months	Once a week!!
Cooking amazing new dinners that I’ve never done before	Once every three months?	Once a week
Being kid free with my hubby for a period of time	Once every three months	Once a month
Being clean	Every day	No change!
Not drinking alcohol	Longest I’ve gone is about 2 weeks recently	Maybe 3 months?
Getting creative	On weekends every 3rd week	Every weekend
Cutting off from social media	Never	For a 24 hour period, every week
Reading a book	Once a month	Once a week
Checking in with my friends	Almost never	Every 3-4 days
Doing something for someone where I get no benefit	Once a week	No Change!
Spending time with my family	Every day	No Change!

 

 

Count up your ‘no change’ activities. Mine is 4. Four out of twenty activities, that make me, who I am. Ludacris. It should be 20!

 

 

SIX

 

Since life before COVID-19 was busy and hectic, and now we have one second or two to breathe (or you will get a breather soon if you aren’t already working from home or in quarantine), pick a few things off your list that are most essential to you. You can even prioritise them from most important to least important.

 

This week, make a pact with your partner (or yourself) to help each other accomplish your one – two things. To accomplish achieving these changes. Make an intentional time slot that is not broken, no matter what. Tag team and share the load of looking after the kids if it’s not a family activity.

 

Because you did this activity together (if you have a partner), or if you’re by yourself, you’ve hopefully come to realise how many sacrifices you’ve been making at the detriment of your wellbeing; you should be able to realise the importance of this for both you and your other half/for yourself and make the changes to make it happen.

 

Hang your list somewhere you can see it, make an appointment with yourself, and get through it all week by week as you’re stuck in isolation.

 

I can then guarantee you that you will not come out of this COVID-19 lockdown with the mindset that you went into it with.

 

It’s week one of me starting on my own list, and I already feel like today, is the last day I felt good about myself.

 

 

Laine

X

 

P.S – IF you made it all the way to the end of this, thank you. If you feel like sharing your list or sharing some tips and pointers to help others achieve their lists, please comment below. We are going to need each other on this new journey because our lives are about to be flipped upside down and we’re going to need all the help we can get!